I started a little memes page on Instagram. I had no clear idea of where I’m going with it, but I knew that I wanted to explore and poke at the fallacious teachings of young earth creationism and other anti-science teachings in the church. As days went on, and my faith started crumbling, I found myself sharing more than memes. I shared my soul with complete strangers on the internet.

They loved it. They related. They felt safe and heard through my experiences.

I’m still blown away by the 2.7K followers who came for the laughs and stayed for the deconstruction of religion. It’s beautiful to connect with so many people who can confirm that I am indeed not crazy, and my feelings regarding my experience and religious upbringing are valid.

However, I recently got a message that my account ain’t it. That I’m attacking the church and throwing everything away. Listen-listen. I respect the opinion if it’s how someone feels, and to be clear: as I deconstruct, I realize that it is messy, and I’m thankful for those who are giving me the space to feel and reflect, while understanding that I’m coming from a place of discovery, and not dogma.

Discovery over dogma.

There are days when I feel cheekier(i.e. pissed off) than others, so I say something. In those days, I see empty words promising invisible prayers for a problem that requires tangible actions from people who claim they know the most powerful being. This being, they say, has equipped his children with the tools and resources to fix a lot of these problems, but instead they silently and motionlessly pray all the while hoarding those tools and resources, claiming them as personal blessings for being so darned cute.

There are days where abuse is called “a cross to bear”, leaving the victim powerless. There are days when I see people unable to speak up because their whole life depends on being quiet and compliant. There are days where I see people suffering in guilt and shame because the stifling beliefs which they were wrongly given do not allow them to trust their emotions, set up boundaries, or call out abuse.

They are to:
“turn the other cheek,”
endure outright injustice because “our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us,”
remember that “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose,”
and when it gets really hard, remember that you “can do all things through Christ who strengthens” you.
Besides, God will never give you more than you can handle. (My favorite out of context verse)

There are far too many of these days.

If I’m not calling out toxic theology, where verses are taken out of context and broadly applied to anything that is mildly inconvenient for the church to deal with, or something that could make the church look bad while real people are being hurt, who am I protecting if not the abusers of power?

If a teaching, a belief, or an idea is hurting people and traumatizing them, how dare we tell them to pray a prayer and Jesus will fix everything. *magic* If he doesn’t, he’ll teach you how to live with it. If you’re still not content? It’s a heart issue, sis. YOU’RE doing it wrong.

No. no, no, and NO.

For as long as dogmatic interpretations of an ambiguous ancient text are creating space for abuse, trauma, brokenness and hurt by people who claim to worship and follow the One who accepts, heals, loves, and restores, I will continue to call it out for what it is. I will continue to bring attention to the ugly hatred of those who sing praises to the God of love.  Their salt is toxic. Their light only brings heat. They are using God’s name in vain to maintain power which hurt others all the while condemning those who merely say “OMG”. They are the wolves in sheep’s clothing raising their hands in praise, taking communion, never following the Way, the Truth, and the Light, only believing and worshiping.

Those of us who are leaving, bringing issues to light, or asking uncomfortable questions, we’re not trying to cause new problems. We want the existing ones acknowledged and fixed.

What we have right now- a church defined by national pride, white supremacy, and toxic theology- ain’t it.

It ain’t it fam.

It ain’t it.