christian

Witch hunt

| ThoughtFossils

Thinking through the awful event that happened in Atlanta and the 8 lives that were lost, it hit me. I had heard this thought before, and it is only now that I see it plain as day. The theology of original sin and atonement theory are toxic in and of themselves. How?

The literal groundwork for the Gospel is that all of mankind became cursed because of a woman.

This is the source and justification for misogyny, objectification, and the sexualization of women-they sinned first. Women brought doom on all of us. Women can’t be trusted. Women fail by nature.

I remember being so mad at Eve when I was a little girl. I used to plan things I’d say to her when I get to heaven-if she’d even be there- I’d scoff. I’d tell her thanks(sarcastically) for earning us girls a period and ask her if it was normal for snakes to talk and why she’d fall for it.

The irony.

Misogyny isn’t always explicit. In fact, I’d argue that it’s most potent in small doses. It builds up story after misinterpreted Bible story, sermon after sermon, excused “boy behavior” after punished “girl behavior.” It’s generations of bread winners and homemakers. Generations of pastors and pastors wives. Generations of fearless leaders and strong, but silent, support at home.

Women are the heroes for “looking out for their brothers” through modest dress, for enduring abuse by staying in a toxic marriage “for the sake of the children”, for teaching children quietly at home, for “allowing” their husbands time to pursue dreams, hobbies, and ministry. And if women don’t sacrifice their existence for the pleasure and progeny of men? Well, then they’re villains-never victims.

You see, it was women who sinned first, therefore, they need male supervision, direction, approval, and control.

They cannot be victims because they sinned first, they must have done something to provoke because women started it.
The husband hit her? Well, are you sure she wasn’t acting out of line?
She got yelled at and belittled by her man? She was probably being too emotional or loud, God forbid she talked back.
She was cheated on? Surely she wasn’t putting out then. Doesn’t she know that it’s ok to have sex after 6 weeks pp?

Assumptions, conclusions, ‘harmless’ jokes about the kitchen, preachers normalizing a “divorce weight”, telling women teachers to “go home”, and here we are. 8 women murdered, 6 of whom are Asian American.

We are living in a world in which, for the last 4 years, a racist misogynist was embraced by 81% of people who believe the creation myth of an ancient people-that there were only two original humans, and that the female brought on the curse because a talking snake told her to eat some fruit. This 81% votes, serves in leadership and in elected positions, contributes to popular media and thus perpetuates the perceived reality of this myth, causing great harm.

I’d like to say I’m not surprised, but at this point, I actually have no words.

My heart grieves with the Asian American community. My heart mourns all lives of women that were taken by violent men who’s god is their own image.

We might be living post-enlightenment, but the church seems to be very happy to remain in the dark ages as that is where it is justified to keep burning witches.

Ain’t it.

| ThoughtFossils

I started a little memes page on Instagram. I had no clear idea of where I’m going with it, but I knew that I wanted to explore and poke at the fallacious teachings of young earth creationism and other anti-science teachings in the church. As days went on, and my faith started crumbling, I found myself sharing more than memes. I shared my soul with complete strangers on the internet.

They loved it. They related. They felt safe and heard through my experiences.

I’m still blown away by the 2.7K followers who came for the laughs and stayed for the deconstruction of religion. It’s beautiful to connect with so many people who can confirm that I am indeed not crazy, and my feelings regarding my experience and religious upbringing are valid.

However, I recently got a message that my account ain’t it. That I’m attacking the church and throwing everything away. Listen-listen. I respect the opinion if it’s how someone feels, and to be clear: as I deconstruct, I realize that it is messy, and I’m thankful for those who are giving me the space to feel and reflect, while understanding that I’m coming from a place of discovery, and not dogma.

Discovery over dogma.

There are days when I feel cheekier(i.e. pissed off) than others, so I say something. In those days, I see empty words promising invisible prayers for a problem that requires tangible actions from people who claim they know the most powerful being. This being, they say, has equipped his children with the tools and resources to fix a lot of these problems, but instead they silently and motionlessly pray all the while hoarding those tools and resources, claiming them as personal blessings for being so darned cute.

There are days where abuse is called “a cross to bear”, leaving the victim powerless. There are days when I see people unable to speak up because their whole life depends on being quiet and compliant. There are days where I see people suffering in guilt and shame because the stifling beliefs which they were wrongly given do not allow them to trust their emotions, set up boundaries, or call out abuse.

They are to:
“turn the other cheek,”
endure outright injustice because “our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us,”
remember that “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose,”
and when it gets really hard, remember that you “can do all things through Christ who strengthens” you.
Besides, God will never give you more than you can handle. (My favorite out of context verse)

There are far too many of these days.

If I’m not calling out toxic theology, where verses are taken out of context and broadly applied to anything that is mildly inconvenient for the church to deal with, or something that could make the church look bad while real people are being hurt, who am I protecting if not the abusers of power?

If a teaching, a belief, or an idea is hurting people and traumatizing them, how dare we tell them to pray a prayer and Jesus will fix everything. *magic* If he doesn’t, he’ll teach you how to live with it. If you’re still not content? It’s a heart issue, sis. YOU’RE doing it wrong.

No. no, no, and NO.

For as long as dogmatic interpretations of an ambiguous ancient text are creating space for abuse, trauma, brokenness and hurt by people who claim to worship and follow the One who accepts, heals, loves, and restores, I will continue to call it out for what it is. I will continue to bring attention to the ugly hatred of those who sing praises to the God of love.  Their salt is toxic. Their light only brings heat. They are using God’s name in vain to maintain power which hurt others all the while condemning those who merely say “OMG”. They are the wolves in sheep’s clothing raising their hands in praise, taking communion, never following the Way, the Truth, and the Light, only believing and worshiping.

Those of us who are leaving, bringing issues to light, or asking uncomfortable questions, we’re not trying to cause new problems. We want the existing ones acknowledged and fixed.

What we have right now- a church defined by national pride, white supremacy, and toxic theology- ain’t it.

It ain’t it fam.

It ain’t it.

Van Gogh: This is not about his ear

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I have to admit, I am no art connosseiur. I don’t even know how to spell connosseiur. (I won’t auto-correct just to prove my point, but why would you put the “i” after the “o” in the correct spelling- now that I’ve Googled it? French words are hard).

One does not need to be even remotely interested in art to have heard of Van Gogh, his ear incident, or- one of my now favorites- the Starry Night. I have always been mesmerized by the swirling pattern and the calming blue hues. As Neil deGrasse Tyson points out, it is the only painting named for its background and it’s an accurate representation of the night sky over where it was painted. However, there is one thing that I never noticed: the lights.

I was listening to an episode of Ask Science Mike recently, and he shared that Van Gogh was actually a preacher in his earlier years, which is a well-known fact I was not aware of (recall: not a connoisseur). More interesting than that, moved by the poverty of the mining town he was serving, Van Gogh gave away his middle-class belongings and showed up to preach many-a-times with hay in his hair or looking disgruntled because he slept on floors in a bid to live humbly. He wanted to embody his Christ, the man-of-sorrows.

And so he was fired by the church. Weren’t expecting that one, were you?

Apparently putting into practice the love and compassion of Jesus is not how to live out one’s faith. We can talk about Jesus, but that feeding the poor thing? Nope, not for us, lest we be too zealous. (I could go on so many tangents right now, but let’s focus. That’s mainly a note to self)

Van Gogh’s Starry Night

When you look at the Starry Night, pay attention to the windows of the buildings. Notice how there is a church in the middle? It has no lights in its windows. There is a light in the window of every single building but the church’s. The one place that claims to know the source of light stands tall, but dark.

Left embittered and impoverished by this place that also teaches love and acceptance, Van Gogh left the church, later writing in a letter to his brother Theo: “I wish they would only take me as I am.”

Please tell me I did not over-react by getting emotional when all of this came together for me?

Either way, I did get emotional. Here we have a young man completely devoted to his God, only to be told that he’s actually not supposed to act on his faith/convictions to benefit the less fortunate. In one account I heard that he gave away all of the money given him by the church to buy a house. That could explain why they didn’t like his fervor. I just find it so ironic though. And frustrating.

I imagine this young man, 27 at the time, feeling utterly powerless. Having done nothing inherently wrong, he was receiving two completely different messages from sources that are supposed to line up in their values. Scriptures: “feed the poor…blessed are the meek…the son of man had no place to lay his head…” The church: “hang out with better company…you are too zealous…here is a tremendous amount of money that can help a lot of people, buy yourself a house.”

I think it a splendid saying of Victor Hugo’s, ‘Religions pass away, but God remains.’

Van Gogh on God

The tall and dark church is a subtle, yet powerful image 120 years after its creation. Who would have though that simple brush strokes on a canvas and the absence of yellow could so accurately represent the state of the church today.

“I wish they would only take me as I am,” reminds me of the parable of the prodigal son. How, when the son returned to his father, it was the father who clothed him. It was the father who gave him his title. It was the father who hugged and kissed him. It was the father who ran to him while he was still a long way away.

I’m left wondering, how many people- like Van Gogh- has the church rejected, when the father would have not only embraced them, but given them a title and noble clothes? Are we even in that place to say who gets in and who doesn’t? (no, we are not)

By all the rules of the day, the father had every right to throw his son in jail for the disrespect and shame the son brought on the family. Yet- yet we see the father taking in his son, just as he is.

If he had never experienced this pain, maybe we’d never have Van Gogh’s Starry Night. Or maybe, we would have had Van Gogh a little longer.

His life took a lot of interesting turns, and it did end in rather tragic circumstances, but for me, the absence of yellow is the biggest lesson that I learned from Van Gogh’s Starry Night.

I want to be where that light is, even if it’s found in the most unlikely places.

-Kris

Here we go: First post Ooh-ha-ha.

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Nemo referenece, get it? (please tell me you get it)

Hey there.

Thanks for visiting Thought Fossils.

I have been wanting to start this for years. I also wanted to tell you all about how good I am at being a procrastinator, starting so many years later than when I wanted to originally, but the whole paragraph was awful and not even funny, so this one will do.

The idea here is so that I can keep track of the evolution of my thoughts and personal growth. I have never shied away from an audience(which makes me wonder all the more why I never started sooner) so having you come along is kinda fun – more fun points if you can also relate and we can grow together.

This space will be dedicated to my thoughts and experiences regarding my science and faith journey, my wins and losses as a parent, and my general musings about being human. I hope it doesn’t get too heated in here, but I do welcome all points of view for discussion.

Thanks for reading what I have to say. Wanna make it a thing?

-Kris